It's winter. There's snow. A lot of snow. But it's winter in the northeast and snow is traditionally a part of the picture. It's just that this winter there has been a lot more snow than we've seen in recent years. Funnily enough it was a winter like this when Dave & I first met; February 1994. We both attended New Brunswick Theological Seminary in NJ but didn't know each other. That February there came the deep snows that people remembered from our childhoods. The kind that had snow mountains on every corner of every street. The snow started coming down and kept coming so by the end of the day I knew I wouldn't make it home. The wipers weren't clearing the windshield and although it was only a 16 mile drive home, I wasn't going to risk it. I asked the RA of the dorms if I could stay in the extra room and he said ok. It turned out to be an ok which led to a rather route changing event....I was about to meet the man of my dreams. How corny but true. We actually met in October when a mutual friend introduced us while doing Hebrew h.w. in the library. Dave was rummaging through the books for his h.w. and noticed Kathy and myself talking and working. He came over, said hi, I said hi and that was the extent of our communication. But 4 months later we got to spend a couple of hours together playing a seriously competitive Trivial Pursuit marathon with other resident students. Over the next several months we got to know each other as he finished up his final semester and I added a couple of credits to my files. Twenty years later and we're living on a farm in sort of upstate NY (south of Albany - 150 miles north of NYC). So, an "ok" led to my childhood dreams coming true; the man of my dreams on a farm in the country. Cold country however.
It's been cold this winter. Zero degree and below kind of cold. The snow just keeps on falling. Which is fine except not this year. I don't know why but I've had enough. After moving north in 1998 I took up xc skiing and came to enjoy the snowy days and nights which provided time for little mini-retreats from the everyday routine. Maybe it's that we have to be out more often tromping around in the knee deep snow in order to feed the farm animals. I've always wanted to live on a farm and now I do. I enjoy it. But I confess that having to carry water from house to barnyard in 20 and 10 degree weather is not fun. I don't know how people manage to work in the cold for days and weeks as a time. The animals manage. We keep them sheltered and fed. But it does wear thin after several weeks of it. So yes, I have been whining. At some level I have adjusted. I noted recently on my FB page that I was running back and forth to the gym in shorts. In sub-32 degree weather. Which I would never have done in my younger years. So yes, getting older doesn't mean things can't change. Other things that change don't always feel good. Like memory loss. It's not like I haven't forgotten things before but that was mainly due to distraction or not really being interested in what I needed to be interested in. But now I'm forgetting things that I really am invested in - although I second-guess myself by saying that if I was really committed to them I wouldn't forget. But I'm really forgetting.
Like meeting times and appointments. I have to write big notes and leave them around so I can be reminded of where I need to be. And even then it's not always enough. I have meeting reminders what's the word - oh yes forget them too - programmed into my smart phone but the phone isn't smart enough to make sure I pay attention and tonight I missed a meeting I wanted to attend and am really mortified and pissed. I cannot believe I missed it. I had everything all planned out as far as chores and dinner and getting out the door on time. And I did all that. Except I was an hour behind time.
Where oh where is Erma Bombeck when we need her? When I need her. She went through the experience of being oh so human while also being able to turn it into fodder for her column which provided her with an outlet and an income. Wouldn't mind being able to do that for myself. That's part of why I joined Toastmaster International. I wanted to be able to hone my speaking and leadership skills and maybe find an outlet for my love of speaking and also being able to uplift others. Laugh at self, encourage others, earn a living. Living on the farm provides it's own material which if I could pull it all together would find me where I'm meant to be. But no more whining. At least not for tonight. It's time to check things out - make sure the animals are settled for the night and then plan my day for tomorrow. It will be interesting to see if I can fulfill the goals for the day. But if nothing else...the cow, the pigs, the horses and chickens, dogs and cats will all be fed and sheltered and in that the day will be well spent. Dreams really do come true.
