Who Are We? The RCA decision to prevent full inclusion in the life of the Church by those who are LBGTQ

I just read a commentary written by a sister in the denomination in which I serve - The Reformed Church in America. We are a denomination born out of the Protestant Reformation and in the 1700's evolved from being the Dutch Reformed to the RCA...(google for more information.) My sister spoke of how our General Synod gathering this year was filled with hatred and mean spiritedness. (GS - time of decision making also Google) After hearing the decision to try and rework our polity (form of governance) it so unnerved her that she felt she needed to self-injure to move the pain from her heart and mind to her body - in order to alleviate it. This pain stems from being told that she as a Queer person is worthless, has no value, should be eliminated etc., etc. But that changed as those of us who are seeking full inclusion for LBGTQ people in the life of the Church reached out to assure her that she is loved and welcomed and is "fearfully and wonderfully made." This compelled me to write and share some thoughts. Last night our classis -(regional governing body) had the opportunity to sit and talk to each other about where we stand on the issue. There are a variety of people with a variety of views on whether or not folks who are LBGTQ should be able to be ordained and married. Yet, while we differ, we were able to sit and share our thoughts respectfully in a safe place and way. This apparently is contrary to what the special council who met in April and our General Synod experienced this year. We heard a report on what occurred at both of these events and frankly I am horrified and disgusted. The point of the special council was to honestly and openly sit and discern together what action the RCA could take going forward about this issue. Several recommendations came out of that discussion but General Synod, which met in June failed to heed any. What happened was a proposal to basically change our polity and elevate marriage to the equivalent of a sacrament. This is not Protestant. This not how we do things. All in the name of keeping same sex couples from being married in the Church and individuals who are called to the ordained ministry from that calling. What really makes my blood boil was hearing that members from other regions did not come to these gatherings in order to wrestle honestly with the issues or what it means to a major section of our denomination - our brothers and sisters in faith...Instead, those gathering were told that they were to take a particular stance and adhere to that stance or else they would face difficult times when they returned home. How dishonest! How disingenuous! And when members of the Body who believe that the "bible says" no to full inclusion, they don't just say it's because of their faith. They apparently do so in the meanest, most derogatory way possible. Shame on them. And these proposals, which are made to prevent members of our denomination from full inclusion took place on the night that Orlando occurred. But Orlando wasn't the only tragedy that took place that night. In our region, a child, just 14 years old, took her life because she was being told s/he wasn't worthy, s/he was a freak, s/he had no value. She was transgender. In this case, it wasn't coming from her church but kids at school. However, this occurs far too often because when people hear church folk saying these kinds of things, it seems to give others a pass to act just as horribly. It shouldn't be happening by anyone. No one has the right to tell another that they have no value or that they can't live their lives in the way that the rest of the Church or society does. We the Church are complicit in these tragedies and we need to acknowledge this. This leads me to ask why ii is only conservative, bible literalists that get to offer commentary on these issues in the news media? There are many ordained individuals who would speak a new or different word on the issue - people who are just as bible literate as the conservative literalists believe themselves to be. The Church and Society needs to hear the position that ALL are welcome at the Table of the Lord and all are invited into full participation into the life of the Church. The LGBTQ community certainly needs to hear this. They need to know they are just as welcome as anyone else to share their love in the marriage arena and serve as ordained ministers. I also want to say is that while some may have a right to believe what they wish, I have heard of NO ONE killin themselves as a result of being loved and supported and invited into the full life of faith - including being able to be married or ordained. But enough people have ended their lives believing the lies that say they aren't good enough, are freaks, and are not welcome into full inclusion. This means more than being tolerated or welcome to join a faith community but not be able to do the things that some say are off limits to them. This is NOT how the Body of Christ should be functioning. We have blood on our hands. In light of that - I also have to say, while many are speaking out against leaving the denomination in order to be present and offer hope for the LBGTQ members who wish to remain in the denomination, I applaud the notion that we are not saying we're taking our ball and going home because things aren't going our way. That is a very mature and faithful way of proceeding forward. But here's the thing. After you've been told for so long that you are worthless; after being told you're welcome to be with us but only to a point; after you've been told terrible things, it has started to sound like the abuse victim who remains in a relationship because "it really isn't all that bad." Or, "this is my home, where else would I go?" We counsel people to leave abusive relationships and make a new start. I'm suggesting that perhaps it is time to consider making a new start. The conversation about marriage and ordination of LBGTQ people has gone on long enough. The arguments against it are the same ones that were made in order to keep women and people of color from full inclusion in the life of the Church. Jesus did indeed say that there was an appropriate time to "shake the dust of your sandals" and move on. Perhaps it is time for us to get shaking and become the community in which EVERYONE can fully participate and are welcome - because they are truly, fully loved. I lift this thought in love as one possible way forward. Anything else seems less than Christian.